Maybe you get tired of me saying this, but I lived a blessed life.  I have an amazing family, and a group of friends and business associates who encourage and inspire me everyday.  Jim Rohn was known for saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” There may be some debate in that, but I remember the first time I heard this quote–it absolutely resonated with me and I instantly became more aware of my friends and business associates.  I finally recognized that who I was hanging out with would eventually have an impact on who I would become.  It wasn’t just the time I spent with my closest friends that I began to scrutinize, but even the amount of time and types of people I chose to have brief encounters with for coffee, lunch or business meetings.

Since I’ve put boundaries around my self and my time, I’ve found virtually every area of my life to have simplified, improved and become more harmonious.  One of the great people I’ve chosen to spend more time with this past year is my friend Brian Goodell.  We met at a conference last year, and I was immediately drawn to his humble, approachable, positive, transparent, self-confident nature.  I seem to like these qualities in people, and I liked Brian immediately.

As it turns out, Brian has an amazing back story that I’d encourage you to learn more about (watch this video).  I’ll plant the seed with this–he has an inspiring come-from-behind story, winning two Olympic Gold Medals in 1976 in swimming, has had a successful entrepreneurial career, and is a highly requested speaker and success coach for athletes and business folk (check out his website here, and his slideshow here).  During one of our lunches this past week, we were discussing the speaking engagements we have on our calendars, leadership practices we’ve witnessed (good and bad ones), the importance of positive mental imagery and hard work, how we could assist each other towards meeting our goals, and diets (we were eating sushi).  As I returned to my office from lunch, I realized that I always leave my chats with Brian feeling inspired, uplifted, and blessed.  Shouldn’t every day, and every interaction be like this?

We also chatted briefly about Brian’s ‘76 Olympic teammate, Gold Medal decathlete Bruce Jenner--what a hero he became to the nation.  I had to chuckle though, because I was reminded of the classic John Belushi SNL skit, Little Chocolate Donuts. You’ll grin just watching this, but take particular notice of the lit cigarette at the end.

Who do you want to become, and who are you spending time with?

I’m really happy to introduce you to friend Phil Dyer. He’s a speaker, writer, financial planner, strategic business coach and recovering workaholic who’s dedicated to helping lifestyle entrepreneurs transform their business to support their ideal life, create conscious wealth and have fun!  Phil shared with me his transofrmational “3 Truths” today–I liked them so much I asked him to share them with all of you.  Thanks, Phil, for your guest post.

A QUESTION TO ASK YOU ENTREPRENEURS OUT THERE…

Are you ready to create the business that truly supports your ideal life?

If you answered “YES”…like most forward-thinking, conscious-minded entrepreneurs, then I have a follow-up question…

WHY AREN’T YOU DOING IT…RIGHT NOW…TODAY?

For many of the people that I connect with that are trying to build a business that supports their ideal lifestyle, true transformation makes a better hypothetical and theoretical “holy grail” to aspire to than to take positive action to actually achieve.  It is often easier for us to buy another product, invest in another hyper-kinetic weekend seminar with hundreds of other seekers or sign-up of another series of “free” tele-classes that promise a magic bullet solution than it is to take concrete steps towards REAL and LASTING transformation.

Now don’t get me wrong…all of the above tools can be very helpful and I routinely use them myself…but I also strongly believe that many entrepreneurs use this constant activity to avoid doing the deep, soulful and very often uncomfortable inner work to effect true change.  It’s often easier for us to be doing instead of simply being…to feel good about checking of a series of tasks rather checking in with out inner compass to see if we are truly on the right path…to immerse ourselves the the relatively anonymity of a large group event than risk exposing ourselves and our foibles in a more intimate small group session.  We congratulate ourselves on all the “progress” we are making when – in truth – we are simply shrinking from who we are truly called to be and playing it safe.

AM I PUSHING ANY BUTTONS YET? I HOPE SO?

I submit to you that there are “Three Truths” to real and lasting transformation, both personally and for your business:

1. You Must Give Yourself Permission to Unplug: True transformation is – in my opinion – virtually impossible to create when you are running non-stop in the 24/7 world we live in.  You need time, space and separation from your day-to-day life and the constant demands of your business to allow the noise level to die down enough to really hear yourself think, to listen from a place that is below the surface and to open your conscious and unconscious mind to your true potential.  In my experience, 5-7 days is the minimum time frame to really accomplish this.  Shorter retreats are OK, but how much real down time do you get?  Take a 3-day retreat…you really need a day on the front end to let yourself slow down and decompress and often our brains are “powering back up” on the last day as we prepare to go back into the world…so we may only get one good day of clear thought!

2. You Can’t Do This on Your Own: I don’t care how conscious you are or how in touch you are with your inner core…you are too close to your own crap to have any real perspective.  How many times have you been wracking your brain trying to come up with a solution to some challenge or problem…only to have someone else look at it for 30 seconds and then give you a simple, elegant and straight-forward fix?  I have one of those “I could have had a V-8″ moments daily!  To empower yourself to achieve true transformation…you must engage a coach, mentor, accountability partner or mastermind buddy.  We may be great at crafting solutions for other peoples challenges…but we SUCK at doing it for ourselves.

3. Exponential Transformation is Possible with the Right Group: Napoleon Hill was a pretty smart cookie and his admonition for us to avail ourselves of the power of Mastermind Groups was spot on.  Coming together with a small group of like-minded individuals who are serious about transformation their business and their life is the fastest and most powerful way to affect real and lasting change in your own business and life.  Quantum leaps become the norm – rather than the exception – as members urge each other to greater accomplishments, hold space for each other, call B/S when needed and bring the amazing power of multiple minds together.  I am incredibly honored to be part of several amazing mastermind groups and much of the credit for my business growth over the 5 years can be directly linked to these incredible people.  For me, groups of 12-15 are ideal for retreats, while smaller groups of 3-5 are great for Masterminds that meet more frequently.

If you are feeling stuck in your business – and your life — right now and your not making progress towards the lifestyle you truly want to lead, what are you scared of?  What are you settling for?  What are you not allowing to come to the surface?

Consider connecting with these truths to help jump start your way forward!

Connect with Phil Dyer at TotalBusinessTransformation.com

I just confirmed I’ll be a keynote speaker at the largest gathering of young entrepreneurs in the country at the Identity Conference this November.  It’ll be a high-octane, powerful convergence of next generation, like-minded entrepreneurs gathered together to exert influence on a generation. http://www.IdentityConference.com/conference

Entrepreneurs are life changers and world changers.  I’m honored to be included among this warrior class.

If you’re a young entrepreneur, or know a young entrepreneur, this is a must-attend event.  Come to Orange County, CA and be transformed.

Some find significance and success by living a life as a professional vagabond–moving from one organization to a larger sphere of influence in a different one.  Others, like our Sportsmen’s Lodge Hotel team member Jairo Alvarez, grow where they’re planted.  Jairo joined the hotel as a part time shuttle van driver, and now, years later, he oversees all operations of the hotel’s front office and guestrooms, accommodating visitors and keeping charm alive at one of California’s most iconic hotels.

Open our eyes and we’ll find purpose, excitement, and adventure  all around us–inside and outside our companies, organizations and families.  Pursue excellence wherever you find yourself, serve those around you, and thrive.

Jario’s now as much a part of the hotel as its legendary low-key charm.  Sportmen’s Lodge was the hangout for Hollywood’s A-list in the mid-century, a place where Bogie taught his kids to fish while Bette Davis sipped martinis.  We’re spotlighting Jario in our upcoming issue of Broughton Quarterly magazine.  (Sign up for free electronic issues of BQ by signing up here.)